courtship an marriage final paper reflection paper depaul university was if premarital and informal dating defined spousal choices and at what age was. ESSAY SAMPLE ON Importance of Courtship TOPICS SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU It includes activities such as watching movie, going on a date and being a lot. entitled Reflections on Courtship and Marriage: in two Letters to a. Friend. Wherein a the editors of The Papers of Benjamin Franklin pointed out that the Li . the external evidence I mean the date and place and printer, the adver tisement.
Reflections on Dating, Love, and Marriage
During the courtship partners can determine whether they are ready for commitment or not. Courtship is always exclusive and involves the family and friends of the woman. Crystal Huskey, eHow contributor, describes the advantages of courtship. First, A solid foundation. Third, good use of time. And Fifth, physical connections.
Marriage is not a magic wand that makes problems fade; in fact, what you allow to go on in your courtship will continue in your marriage, including habits and communication methods. Darwin's theories could help explain why, when a female frequently goes out with a partner, their menstrual cycles become shorter and more reliable.
Sexual stimulation could lead to an increase in hormone levels, thus a shorter cycle, and ultimately, more opportunities to become pregnant. Humans also tend to be attracted to young, healthy partners, increasing the chance of survival of the couple and consequently, healthy and abundant reproduction.
In The Descent of Man, Darwin suggests that certain characteristics of human beings are present today because the possessors of them were successful in attracting a mate and reproduction Wilson, One theory presented by Wilson and Nias can be traced back to primates.
It says that the reason many men are attracted to women with large breasts is because they mimic the enlarged buttocks that a female primate displays during heat The surveys we conducted supported the idea that humans are attracted to healthy mates. We also concluded that personality was the most important factor in attractiveness, followed in order by physical characteristics, emotional attributes, other, intelligence, and strong values.
If we accept Darwin's ideas as presented by Wilson and Nias, it can be concluded from these results that personality plays an important role in evolution and survival for humans. Being the most important thing others look for in a mate, personality becomes important in finding a partner, establishing a strong relationship, and hence reproducing and passing on ones genetic makeup.
Psychology of Dating Freud believed that falling in love was, at its nature, a substitute for personal accomplishment. The psychologist Theodore Reik purposed that there are two stages to a person falling in love. The first stage is where from a need to escape from internal discontent grows the longing and tendency to fall in love with another person.
The second stage requires personal courage and security about the self, in order to actually love another person in a committed behavior.
Erik Fromm makes a distinguished difference between immature and mature love. In the immature love, the lover exploits the beloved in order to satisfy the lover's needs.
In contrast, mature love the lover expresses a genuine concern for the beloved's welfare. He also states that sexual attraction is based on the need for psychological union with the opposite sexual pole, and romantic love depends on the need for psychological union with the opposite sex character type.
The different character types are defined by the quality of activities, discipline, and adventure male ; and receptiveness, protection, and motherliness female. Reik also states that "falling in love" is an attempt through the possession of an admired love object, to obtain personal qualities that one needs. Genuine love had been described as a rare statement of optimal operative that involves active caring for a partner's needs and a desire to experience the other at an intimate level.
What Made Dating Rituals Change? As the world changes around us, so do our lives. This is true for dating habits also. One can observe drastic changes in dating rituals, at times of technological and social change. There has been a shift in how we measure a person's "success's" to include physical vitality and life enjoyment along with material achievements.
Dating, Mating and Relating: Dating and Courtship in Modern Society
Divorce and "serial monogamy" have become increasingly acceptable making people anxious about maintaining relationships. Changes in social attitudes and improvements in contraception have allowed women to view sexuality as separate from reproduction and as an avenue from self-expression and pleasure. People are relying on personal relationships to provide a sense of worth they lack in the public sphere due to increased technology, mobility, and bureaucracy" Tiefer, pg.
As mentioned in the history of dating, the automobile had a large effect on the way girls and boys interacted romantically. They were no longer subjected to the supervision of parents, and they became more comfortable with sexuality as they were allowed more mobility after World War I. Not all women were staying home, they were able to get out and work along side the men.
The invention of television presented models of how to go on dates for adolescent teens. Dresses got shorter, there was more freedom, and the generation of kids beginning to date took advantage as petting got heavier, and relationships were more serious before marriage than they ever have been.
In the 's the controversial birth control pill became available to women. This allowed couples to have sexual intercourse without fearing a teenage pregnancy.
With the introduction of birth control, and the more common use of illegal drugs, casual sex was becoming more common. The summer of love was famous for people having multiple partners and experiencing "free love. Homosexuals around the country were uniting and demanding respect and tolerance for their lifestyles. Women too were experiencing a revolution; they were becoming more independent. Women were no longer conforming to the housewife model, and were looking for other careers.
They did not have to depend on husbands and fathers anymore, now they could depend on themselves. As sex came out of the bedroom, it became a capitalist venture.
Pornography and sex shops grew and appeared more frequently in cities. Suddenly images of sex became more visible to all people including children.
This resulted in an increase of the number of people having premarital sex, and forming serious relationships earlier in life. Just as the country thought the next generation was going to become a bunch of free loving hippies, AIDS struck. AIDS; although it is a terrible epidemic, has forced people to educate others about sex and act responsibly.
Now a new technology is affecting the way people go about forming sexual relations with others, and that is the Internet. The Internet has created a new place and new way for people to meet others and interact. It has become a place for casual sex i.
From the Internet you can place classifieds, or order mail order brides. It is also a place of gender, and personality bending fantasy, where people can pretend to be whoever they please. So people should be weary of whom they talk to on the Internet. These are just a few of the changes that affected the way people go about meeting their mate, and how they interact with them.
Dating habits are always changing over time, but one can see how the many social aspects in our lives are linked, and if there is a large change in our lives, it is like a domino effect to the rest of our lives.
Nontraditional Couples This country is a melting pot of cultures and people.
Dating, Mating and Relating: Dating and Courtship in Modern Society
We are taught to be open minded and acceptable of other cultures and beliefs. Though at times it may be difficult, that goes for sexual preference and dating rituals. Within America you find many different traditions, and some new habits of courting that affect who one dates, and how one goes about dating. For most people you start dating in the teenage years, you go about it independently, choosing whom you want to date, where you want to date, and what occurs on the date.
The popular cultural belief is that most people will choose one person of the opposite sex, and of a similar age. But none of these are always the case. Some teens aren't allowed to date until they are older. In some cultures like the Indian American of India your parents will arrange whom you go out with. Some cultures stress that you date within your own race. Many religions suggest you must date someone with the same religion.
Other religions provide detailed rules of what the young couple is allowed to do and where to go. During this time period, there are many rules for many different people, and it becomes difficult for so many different cultures and religions to have a standard of values about dating.
In the ninety's there is a large gay rights movement. Campaigning for acceptance and tolerance of the gay community. You hear more about older people dating younger people with decades of difference between their ages. Some people deviate from dating people from heir race or religion. Some people prefer to date more than one person at a time. Today there are many that choose not to date. Strangely enough, this is also supported by the Bible, where Jesus says "Do not look upon a woman to lust;" a situation like that can only lead to heartache.
And yes, that applies to women looking at men, too. While this will promote openness in of itself, because without passionate feelings, you will have no reason to try to impress the person to the point where you deceive them about yourself, it is still important to remember to be open during the dates. You are looking for a person, not a charade! If someone plainly isn't interested in you, do you really want to sacrifice yourself and change who you are for them? Any love that requires you to change who you are in order to receive it isn't real love!
This brings us to another important topic: Is it "love-at-first-sight," that instant connection with someone else in the world that develops into a passionate relationship? What about the point in time during a crush when you would rather die than be without your desired partner?
Perhaps it is that time in a relationship when you can complete each other's sentences? No, I would argue otherwise, the first two instances not being love at all, and the third instance simply resulting from being around each other a lot. Instead, I wish to define true love as when you care about someone else more than you care about yourself. Love in its simplest form is caring about the welfare of someone else.
This is opposed to our modern world's definition of love, which tends to occur during crushes and the like: This is not love: Lust does not have to be sexual--one bible translation puts it "the lust of money is the root of all evil"--but in relationships, imaginary or real, it often is. In lust, the concern is about yourself: What you do is not for their benefit, but rather your own: This has many problems: The ideal, the alternative, is a love that is focussed on the other person.
Importance of Courtship
This love doesn't concern itself about how the giver fares in the relationship, but rather concerns itself about benefitting the recipient. Obviously, a love like this can be exploited, so for the relationship to be ideal and perfect, this needs to be mutual.
Love does not require change in order to be given, but is given in spite of the faults of the other person. At the same time, real love doesn't allow its recipient to remain in the mud: The difference is this: A love like this is not instantaneous, refuting the "love-at-first-sight" theory.
I have yet to see someone stare at another across the room and remark, "Wow, I am filled with this amazing desire to help that person become better and lift them up throughout their trials and struggles in life! I am excluding pity for someone who has got themselves into a position where that is expected; though it is true that love can stem from that, it is rare.
Rather, love results from getting to know someone over time. Because of that, love does exist in a lesser form among friends: If love is not an indicator of whom we should date, yet it is the primary indicator of whom we should marry, then should we really treat dating so seriously?
Should we look on every person we date as our future spouse? Should we get very emotionally involved with someone we don't know very well? What is the ideal?
If we all had that mindset, we would surely have less problems with jealously if we saw someone dating another, and we would also have less problems with people lacking the courage to ask someone they are attracted to out on a date. Dating would become an invitation to discover, for both persons, whether a romance between them would work, whether the two of them together could become more than the sum of the parts.
It would be no attachment, no pressure, and no illusions, and would yield an intelligent decision as to whether a relationship between them would work: It would allow for dating around, perhaps more than one person at a time not on the same date, of course: There would be no problems with crushes: As a result, there would be less emotional baggage, because people wouldn't get hurt so often when they are rejected by the one they are infatuated with; and because there wouldn't be so much emotion tied into the relationship too early on.
If the date was rejected due to complete lack of attraction; people's tastes vary; one should try at least to find someone they aren't repelled by; although perceived beauty is generally influenced by what they know of the personthere wouldn't be hard feelings, because the attraction wasn't serious enough to fret about. On dates, people would be completely open, in order to find a good mutual match: They would learn as much as they can about each other, looking for a hint of love.
And when they find it, they will enter into a courtship--waiting, of course, for the other person to find love before embarking--and entering with their eyes wide open, with a true definition of love, they may go on to a happy marriage.